limbo
Has anyone else been feeling like they are in a sort of limbo stage in their life?
Not exactly where you want to be, not exactly where you have been.
Feeling like things aren’t how you want them to be but at least it’s not terrible?
I’ve had so many conversations over the last few weeks with people who were experiencing exhaustion, or feeling drained, or just a level of dissatisfactions with things going on in their life — and, girl, I’ve been feeling it too. I’ve been trying to navigate this in ways that are familair to me — you know, meditation, journaling, some of the tools that I use to ground myself.. and they are useful, yes. But that feeling has been lingering.
I recently listened to a podcast by one of my favorite authors Michael Singer, and he was talking about how we try to change the discomfort that we feel — and we do this constantly. Whenever we feel something that is undesirable to us in the moment, we think of how we can change it. How do we become “happy” again? We are constantly running from the undesirable feelings. And, in a way, I’ve been noticing that I’m doing it too. Even though my tools that I’m using are considered healthy coping mechanisms and skills, I’m trying to get away from that feeling that I don’t want to feel. So, in the podcast, Michael Singer says that most of the disturbances and undesirable feelings that we feel are usually created within us. When we feel the disturbance, we start creating even more disturbances by trying to fix it because trying to fix it doesn’t work. You know what works? Allowing it. Letting it pass. Relaxing (Michael’s words, not mine). And let me tell you something, that episode alone had me shook for like 2 weeks because then I started NOTICINGGGGG that I am literally creating more disturbances! Me wanting to feel different that I already do creates more undesirable feelings, more judgment towards myself, more self pity. Because no matter how much I may not want to feel it, I do. So why not let yourself feel how you feel right now, instead of trying to change it or make sense of it or dissect it, and just move from there? Practicing, just practicing. Do me a favor and listen to the episode: The Michael Singer Podcast, Season 3, Episode 1. Honestly, listen to all the seasons. Change your life.
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Journal Prompt: If you could tell your younger self anything, what would it be?
If I could tell my inner child one thing, it would be to get to know herself more. One thing I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older is that I’m an amazing human being. There is not another human or soul on this planet that is the same or comparable to my soul. I’m so blessed that my soul chose this body and this life. I wish that younger me could’ve experienced our soul in the way the that I am now. In her existence, I want her to spend time listening to how she feels instead of how other people want her to feel – her emotions are valid. I know that she wants to save everyone, but she can’t. She can save herself though. I think she focuses too much on other people, even at her young age. She takes care of other people more than herself because she doesn’t know how beautiful she truly is as a person. If she took the time to know herself like I do now, she would understand.
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I woke up this Sunday morning feeling refreshed and grateful and blessed. In a world that can seem so suffocating at times, I’m blessed to be able to breathe through it. I’m blessed that I am in connection (with the Creator). I’m blessed that the connection is stable and steady. I’m blessed to have vision. I give thanks to my inner knowing and inner understanding that is in complete surrender to the universe that is within me. In completely surrendering, I have seen God within me, and breathing became easier than drowning.
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Remember healthy babe, the reason that you feel so connected to the magic of this world is because it is inside of you – you share similar souls.
I love you and I’m glad you’re here on this Earth with us.
xo